Hidden light

I see the skies,

I touch the stars,

I feel the sun,

And reach the moon

They have one rule

To love, be good..

The nature that we have

Much light it is around..

I went to seek,

To go up into the heights..

I feel no dark  

I see the light!

The energy!.. in life

Ohh it is so nice...

To love inside

You’ll never know

How it is like!?

But when you go,

Bear in mind

A simple line

Let go to learn to fly!

Still racing for it

So I understood part of psychology and how it works, but what was supposed to be next? Is it a dead end, where does psychology come from? These question took me deeper and deeper in exploration and what I found, surprisingly, it was the I inside..hiding from all my bad experiences, failures, fears. Something huge was cooking there, with so many ingredients.. scary! Everything seems to be fractalisation from an answer to another new question. What can I do but go and ‘hunt’ for an answer inside me. Who can answer a question better than our own research and explanations of things!? The big confrontation with my inner self, the so called ego started and it was announcing to be something really big, worth to be mentioned in the books.

All began with trying to improve myself, become better, understand where are the mistakes, accept them, accept myself, accept and understand the other..it seems to be so simple and clear…and it is! So like little Alice I went into my wonderland where all my fears, all my negative beliefs, all my evil feelings and desires were resting and I went on to tear them into pieces, to make everything disappear, to make all of them invisible. But now honestly it is tough, deeper than it seems to be and though so simple if you trust what others, wiser maybe, tell you. It is like slaying the bad dragon that you’ve been feeding all your life with these fears of going in the woods, of riding a horse, of yourself, of what you are, of what you do, all the dark thoughts that you have in mind and most of all it all hits in others and after back to you. We all feel the guilt after making a wrong thing, but we can’t accept it, we all feel bad when we go on the stage and we start being nervous. Why????? Because this is only in our imagination, that subconscious, that inner self, ego however you want to name it. This is the engine of most bad moves that we make, covered with our inner frustrations. Do we really want to have these in our lives? No, so we have the option to accept them, understand them and eliminate them. Our nature is to be pure, not shadowed by darkness created by us, ourselves.

Maybe is wrong that we take all this external information from the mass media, from people who are so deeply covered in fog that we absorb all these and we build on them in us..on the burdens of some movie stars who are depressed, on terrorism, on wars, on the evilness of that conquered our world. Also the fashion, the pressure to be beautiful, to be perfect, to look like X or Z. We are all the same on the inside, it is just we are being guided by the wrong teachers and we take too many wrong turns in the process. As above all these pile up in the inside and I know how difficult is to accept that we’ve been doing these wrong things for such a long time and we’ve been walking this wrong path for so long. Where do we have to get to accept that we might be wrong in our reasoning, reactions, life or approach to things!? Should we be almost dead because of our fears and our mistakes to try to change them.  Every time I speak to someone about changing a character the answer I get – impossible, too old, too… I don’t know how many other excuses. Have you tried as hard enough as you tried to make your business going or the bank account growing? Or how hard you worked to get over exams? NO is just the simple answer, the easy path to a solution. How much it would change if we had no negations in our vocabulary. So what I did to myself…took a lesson from ‘Yes Man’ J. Just kidding, but it is a good solution when you want to improve and reach a different, better state of being, where you can understand yourself. We try so much to understand the others, to adapt and be good that we forget to meet our inner self. I tried, maybe I am still fighting, but I can say that meditation helped me, philosophy, Bible, the Gita. It is the fight I directed to my inner self and everything built in there.. quite interactive and in the end you can only say how clear and simple are things, just open, accept, understand and it will come. Being good and pure is one of the greatest blessings we get when we are born, not rudeness, nor bad thoughts.

Once again it is such an easy thing to say I can’t, it is not possible. If you don’t see it on TV, or if it is not a best seller than you don’t have to deny this. We don’t need doctors, we don’t need psychologist, we must be our own selves. If you want to be honest, be honest to yourself, God is in each of us, helping and supporting and each mistake, interpreted as karma, hits back. Don’t burden others with your frustrations as you will never reach that happiness. Listen to the ones who say they suffered traumas, comas, the ones who won their fight with cancer, leukaemia! These people fight with themselves, not with the ones around, but with the malfunction of the body.. About the drugs..the medics, it is much of moral support or guidance, it helps to boost the power of your mind not to demonstrate that science can cure it. We are after all relying on people who surround us, to the society as a whole, not us in part. We see ourselves not in us but in others. We ignore that all the remedies are in us as long as we search for them but we sadly accept to rely on all external factors. Our confrontation  with ‘I’ might happen too late in our lives..

So what are we actually racing for!?..gold of course :P

The Race

Hmmm… the beginning is when I started reading psychology, applying it, testing reactions, testing it on me ..playing with it like a game. I should better compare it with a childhood play with Lego where I tried to fit each piece with the other, to create and mix them all around.

It is amazing how psychology started, evolved and got to be what is at the moment. It is absolutely amazing how all our behaviour is depicted, how we go into each others life and try to correct the wrong block of Legos. Through neuro linguistic programming I have understood many things and the most interesting part is how we create all these pictures in our mind, how easily we get influenced by all the happenings around us..sounds, voice tonality, touches and most of all, visual contact we have. It is like a movie is taking place in our brain and everything is changing, all things are getting more and more alive in our bodies, we are so dependent of our senses and what we receive through them.

So what is basically happening in this psychology…exploring how our conscious reaction is and how is it felt on the outside as well in the inside of us. Also we can clearly see how easy we react to advertising and how all our desires expand when we have contact with products, with something new on the market..basically we act like some robots or our pet when gets a ransom. The only advantage is that we have more options, we can opt for more or less, we can pick the right price, BUT most important is that we have the POWER to say NO. By knowing these psychological details we can attract others to do something, to buy, to consume or to abstain from something. All details of psychology can be used by us or against us or most sad against each other. I don’t deny it, we must understand the use of it, but not in the way it is used on large scale, or at least know how to use it. I suppose that we should all find ways of understanding the psychic, our person, our purpose and be capable to keep the important information and not get influenced by all negative drives. It might be difficult to achieve the balance between good things and what harms you, but it is not impossible and we should all find time to pursuit these, to understand and combine them. Of course we get at a point, when we realise these and we notice that there exists some sort of manipulation in the capitalistic civilisation and I can not deny it.

We are all programmed to respond to what is happening around us and we are being fed what we consume..news, food, junk food, luxuries, cars, properties, money and everything  that can be bought through the income we earn at work. Are these the definition of happiness!? We have power to make the choices we want, but are we really choosing what we want or what we are given and ‘forced’ somehow to desire!? Appears to be a simple question but the answer is in each of us. We are so deeply rooted in the reality that surrounds us and pursuing our desires that we choose a tunnel and we go through it without considering other options.

So, yes, through this science we realised how to control our mind and understand our behaviour. But let’s bear in mind that this is the creation of the modern world, the Western civilisation that started dominating the World and its growth.  So we could easily say that what the Egyptians, Buddhist, Shamans, Aztecs did before our civilisation, took charge of our destinies, are separate explanations of our nature and how we work. We can’t figure out what the Pyramids are doing in the middle of that desert, how they got there and how were they used. We have no clue, some disrespect the cultures of the Buddhists because they are not Christians or we just accept them because this is the trend set by Pepsi :) - RESPECT. We don’t understand it and we don’t want to look in it. Leaving these under a question mark we started building up on the sciences, with the mention that philosophy has been left in an abstract corner, and we look to find out how we work, which is our best way of living, how to cure our disease, how to kill, we play with all these experiments on people….Sometimes it appears to me like some of us, who say are smarter, who see themselves leaders, who have a vision of how the society should work..yes they take charge and they arrange the pieces of the puzzle to match their personality and their desires. Rest of us who like how it sounds and looks we follow a similar school, join the game and it never works…it continuously say ‘fail, try again’. The game is more interesting because science has freedom to do whatever just to find the right ingredients for us to improve the market, economy and wealth!

I somehow see psychology as creating limits, putting them there through its theory not to mention that psychoanalysis is in the same situation…we can’t figure out how to treat a mental disease but with pills...but we can make fotons travel faster than the speed of light.

I respect our scientist and all the discoveries until the present time, but aren’t there other avenues to achieve these!? Have we opened to and accepted the wisdom of the Buddhists, shamans, mystics? Not really, as it can’t be proved scientifically.

Us, the vast majority, we all do what one says, what the trend establishes, but we don’t let ourselves free of all the external facts to see the things from our own perspective. All information gathered at conscious level is from the outside…what outside gives us you just read above.

PS - my love for psychology, but not its use, will always exist because it opened my eyes to understanding the soul.

Searching for..

All this journey started as simple as the question ‘why?’. Since little children to late existence we live our lives with this question, of course, followed by many constructions which put together are digested by our consciousness.. the result? Stress, frustration, getting pissed off, occasional madness and when the answer comes up – HAPPINESS, PEACE and HARMONY!!! So nice and pure …it is maybe the same feeling like when you are prepared to die.. so simple! I will come with a second point related to asking questions but I feel that I must continue with ‘why’.

In our pursuit of ‘why this or that’ we interact with so many ideas, so much brain work, balancing A and B, trying to learn it, changing with a better modality, finding shortcuts to answers or trying to just make it clear. The journey to finding and understanding ourselves and impliedly the surrounding world takes us like the rollercoasters..up, down, with higher speed, lower speed, heads up, heads down and STOP!! Relax, breath normally, be peaceful…=life. As children we find answers, we ask our parents, teachers, everything is al right. 

We grow and we become more aware of our identity and we want to find our own answers and go on our own path and this is when it makes the adrenaline pump in and make our journey through life a unique feeling.

After getting enough answers for ‘why’ is time for a change.. question ‘how’ and if don’t ask it I recommend to search this path too..there are so many things to understand, it helps us make the connections between the things we know and adventure  in the woods,  fighting all these mysterious feelings we can go through. 

Answering the ‘how’ question might give us some rest, but many times we have other unsolved mysteries.

Now you should be wondering what I have been looking for, why and how J…or reliving feelings from your own experiences and journeys through life. Couple of years ago I would have answered with ‘I don’t know where to, or why that way’.  Actually there might have been a slight clue, but blurry, with the real reason waiting to be discovered. So I may say that I have been looking for me, us, the human kind and balance, alchemy. And it is beautiful but also curious that now I can understand and feel better what the fairy tales from childhood were hiding in their meanings or what the poems and novels in high school aimed to. The discovery of one’s SELF, the discovery of the collective SELF, the discovery of our human nature, our bodies and what work of art we all are!! So simple, so clear, but in the same time we run away from the right answer because we think is too simple and we go on and on to complicate everything and come with all these shapeless behaviours which are like a symphony played by one whom never touched a piano.

I think it is in all of us and we all look inside ourselves and we fight, struggle to change or just hide it away. The simplicity of accepting ourselves and the ones next to us is amazing, though we prefer to go beyond this and jump in a very deep pool where we lose these senses…maybe because the water is too green.  Sometimes we go too far or we don’t explore these areas but we look to figure out how to make more money by using the one next to us instead of helping each other. Then another thought comes..why do people treat me like this or other consequences that struck us afterwards. Action and reaction..